Archives for "June, 2010"
The All Whites are making me racist
Remember that great Conchords moment when Bret muses about his female coworker: ‘she’s so hot she’s making me sexist’? Now the All Whites (appropriately) are doing the same to me. They’re so hot right now, on the eve of their huge game against Paraguay, that I have found that I almost uncontrollably racially abuse their [...]
Ban the Vuvuzela and recycle those sons of bitches
Top 3 better uses for the vuvuzela I am easily the world’s number 1 ranked vuvuzela hater, but I don’t just want to be just another hater. I prefer to see myself as the friendly face of vuvuzela haters. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t advocate leniency or mercy in any form. I’m no bleeding heart [...]
Try playing your vuvuzela after I shove it up your arse
Well that’s just great, the Football World Cup has already been completely ruined for me. I tried watching some of the Argentina vs Nigeria game and nearly had a stoke after just 5 minutes of that god-awful vuvuzela drone. The vuvuzela is a small plastic trumpet designed by Satan himself to turn mentally-healthy people into [...]
I never liked bacon anyway
According to the Bible, Cognitive Dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. I have cognitive dissonance when it comes to the Pigs, I mean the Police, I mean the Pigs… On the one hand, I respect the Pigs immensely and demand that they risk their own lives to save mine [...]