The man with the bulldog tattoo

Fugitives with unbelievably distinctive tattoos have few options for disguise

Hamilton police have set a new world record for understatement, describing a fugitive gunman’s striking facial tattoo merely as ‘distinctive’.

Hamilton city area Police spokesman Bent Mischievously has been typically humble in acknowledging the achievement.

“At first we were tempted by the adjectives ‘unthinkable’ and ‘unprecedented’ but we held our ground and trusted our audience, and in the end they rewarded us.”

Initial public safety posters warning carney folk (clowns specifically) about likely muggings were proved redundant when it was revealed that all Hamiltonians carry thick clown facepaint due to the prevalence of transvestism amongst males and hideousness amongst females.