Confessions of a web fiend

Remember this great Simpsons moment?

Ad Agency Chief: You know those radio ads where two people with annoying voices yammer back and forth? I invented those.

[Homer immediately punches ad agency chief in the face]

Ad Agency Chief [unperturbed]: Happens all the time.

I have a similarly shameful admission to make. Something so awful that I think I’ve only ever told a handful of people, small weedy people with no chance of being able to physically best me.

I created gambling popup ads.

There, phew… That felt good.

It was a long time ago, a time when innocents still noticed and clicked on gaudy ridiculous ads.

What feels even better though, is when you meet someone who did something just as shameful. The other day I met a guy who created pop-ups for herbal supplements. He had a look of genuine embarrassment when he said it.

I nearly cried.

I’m not alone.

So what did my ads look like? They included lots of things you immediately associate with urine-stained slot machines: Mermaids, treasure chests, palm trees. Here, see for yourself (the mermaid doesn’t have a beard, her spray-on tan has yet again badly failed her).

If there is a Hell (and there most certainly isn’t)  I would go straight there to take my place in the section between the fiddlers and the people who produced How I Met Your Mother.